Rebel with a Cause
After pushing the envelope for years, Kevin Max
is resting in the 'massive patience of God' and discovering
who he is really meant to be.

2001 © CCM Magazine
By: Melissa Riddle

Enigmatic. Poetic. Gifted. Quirky. Intriguing. And occasionally, just plain bizarre. These are just a few of the words that describe the one third of dc talk whom many people assume to be the chief troublemaker, the instigator of all those break-up rumors.

On a breezy Friday morning in March, Kevin Max—a slight man in black, whose shocking blonde hair and rock-star sideburns sizzle with cool—pulls up a chair at Nashville’s Bongo Java coffeehouse.

With a solid grip on his coffee and on what people assume about him, he’s ready to speak for himself.

While the band was riding a huge wave of success after the 1995 release of Jesus Freak, Kevin Max was making a few waves of his own. At times, he admits, his onstage theatrics left audiences a bit baffled. His offstage antics were equally eyebrow raising.

"In the past, I have been a very outspoken guy and sometimes have not guarded my tongue as well as I would want to. [I was] kind of in a position of having a bad attitude or a bitter feeling... All eyes were on me because of the fact, I think, that I made the most stink."

He admits he’s not the easiest guy to work with, and he hints at his bandmates’ frustrations: "I’ve been the guy that says, ‘This is the way I do it,’ and nobody has ever slapped me down. They were worried...‘We don’t want to tick him off, he’s got to come to practice.’"

Frustrated at being labeled the bad boy of the group, combined with a deep desire to make an artistic statement uniquely his own, left Kevin Max maxed out. "The end of the Supernatural tour is where it all came down... just from all the emotion, I kind of had this ‘end of my rope’ feeling."

And so, in late summer 1999, he did the unthinkable. He told partners Toby McKeehan and Michael Tait that he wanted out of dc talk.

But a few months later, he had a change of heart.

"I really had a heart to heart with God and a heart to heart with my wife, and I realized that’s not what I want," Kevin Max says of his retracted decision. "I’ve helped build this group for 13 years. I’m an integral part of what it is, and I don’t want to give up on it. Even though I might have some differences with it, I feel like we’re stronger as a group than we are not."

They may be stronger as a group, but the truth is, Kevin Max been getting a lot stronger as an individual as well.

"On the one hand," he says, "I’ve learned to be very open about who I am and my faith and what I am in God’s design. On the other hand, I’ve learned to be guarded. Being a ‘celebrity’ is a tightrope walk, especially in the Christian community. You have to constantly be aware of people wanting to pull you down and say, ‘You didn’t do that right, you didn’t look correct here and what you said there was off color.’ But you also want to show people how faith is relevant to the world, bring Christ to people and show them Christ is cool."

But he says, "This whole experience has taught me that I can’t make Christ cool. Ultimately Christ is cool to people or He’s not. Christ speaks for Himself. In my own little way, I’ve always tried to speak for Him and say this lifestyle is what everyone should live. But I’m just a vessel. His power is so overwhelming that people will come to Him with or without me or anybody. Nothing I can do can add to or take away from Him."

It’s been a hard-fought lesson.

"I’m an extremely quirky guy," he says, not so much as a defense but as a matter of fact. "I’m not this ‘wanna be rock star’ guy. I’m pretty normal... In everyday life I want to think I’m a very accessible person. I’m not better than anybody else. In fact, I feel lower than most people sometimes because I’ve got a lot of hang-ups and insecurities. As a performer, you’re constantly neurotic about what you look like, how you’re performing on stage, what you come off like to the public. And I think that has a lot to do with a lot of the mistakes I’ve made....

"Everyone is guilty of something. Everyone has his closet demons. I tend to live mine out on my sleeve where people can see ’em, but some people hide them. I’m happy for who I am, and I’m happy I’ve gone through some of these things in public... I’m very confident in who I am now."

And while his faith has grown immeasurably as he’s grown in his understanding of who he is in God’s design, Kevin Max says his best work to date is his marriage to his wife of nearly four years, Alayna. "The major change in me came after I got married. My wife completely grounded me. The thing that most attracted me to her was that this girl really had strong convictions and wouldn’t take my crap. She says ‘You need to realize you can’t deal with people like that. You’ve got to be responsible for your actions.’ And it’s really impressed upon me a different way of life. I am now very serious about things I say and things I do. I still make mistakes. To a lot of people I come off like this attention-seeking brat, always trying to push the envelope. I am always trying to do something different from other people, but I make mistakes, and I don’t realize that it might not be the best way to do it. My wife is really good at saying, ‘You know, you might not want to be so bold here—this comes off as being crass.’"

Before Alayna, he likens himself to "a little troll living under a bridge" who didn’t know what happiness was, "a fraction of a person... She saw in me a need for deep friendship."

A huge part of his personal revelation has been a dream realized in the making of his first solo album, Stereotype B, set for release in August. The "ultimate exploration and freedom," the new project reveals a personal depth and vulnerability that is somewhat unexpected, given his reputation.

The project, which draws heavily on the theme of being who God made you to be, reflects Kevin Max’s own journey. "For years, Toby has been the main spokesperson in dc talk, the guy who’s been out front and tackled all the deep issues. I would always sit back and go, ‘Well what’s left for me? I guess I can be the comedian or the cynical guy.’ I’ve been misunderstood because I’ve not really been able to speak for myself... But now he and I realize that it is better for each guy to have his say."

Having wrestled insecurity and pride—and victorious for the time being—Kevin Max has found a resting place. "I don’t have to prove something to people. I can just sit back and live life and be who I am. Try to be accessible, humble, loving, but at the same time somebody who can say something of substance and speak into people’s lives....

"The only stereotype I would want to be is the thing that God designed me to be, the individual He’s made me to be. And realizing that through studying His word and communicating with Him, that’s the only way I can be used to my full potential. That’s the only stereotype I should be thrown under—how He sees me.

"The thing that trips me is that God made us in His own image. He made us in His image. God is accessible. God is kind of like us. That’s why God loves the creation so much, takes so much time and love and patience... Ah, the massive patience of God."

CCM